Back to the center

I was really looking forward to go to the center yesterday! After some days in this confused mood the idea of doing something that isn't new to me sounded really inviting.
I arrived around noon and started to write proposals to german foundations, talking a little bit about Amouns work and asking if they could consider a cooperation - aka: give money.

At the moment the Dom centers Budget ist very low. They still give arabic classes for the children which are well visited and there is after school tutoring and homework help too, but thats just a drop in the ocean. Even though it is amazing to see how excited the kids are after a day at school when they come to the center and learn even more. Yesterday there were about 12, from 7 to 13 years old, all chearful and ambitionous. Most of them came just for the classes, one girl arrived early and joined us for lunch ("It's good for them to be in an english-speakinh enviorment" Amoun said once) and L., Amouns niece who brought me to the center on my first day, helped with the dishwashing and general cleaning before and after class. None of them was brought to the Center by their parents, all of them could have stayed outside playing or whatever but they wanted to be at the arabic-class. So it's a pity that there are no other offers the Dom Society Center can make to the children, their mothers and fathers because they barely know how to pay the rent.

So I asked for help in germany where I'm from and where I can approach different organisations in my and their mother tounge. While writing I discovered more and more how easily you arrange the facts depending on your issues. Which I considered an understandable behaviour before seems now like something you can't omit. This brought me to some considerations regarding my final report: Sure I want to give something back to the Dom, or to Amoun Sleem and the Domari Society Center if she remains my only close contact, and of cours I support her agenda and political strategies - but I'd like to do this somewhere else than in the report.

At the moment I feel very strongly how getting to know other people really changes you. Thi bright, charismatic, trong woman Amoun Sleem - she got me already. Even before I was sure that I would never publish anything that could harm the people I needed to get those information but now I'm not sure if I will be able to write something without being morally involved.

Perhaps that's one of the problems why I had this concern about all the gathered information and Amouns direct connection to them: Maybe everyone who came to the Dom Research Center before went through the same developement and I will ending up like them: promoting what Amoun wants me to promote, trying to help, wanting to affect the way other people see the Dom. And now that I'm wirting this with a bit of fear to get too involved a little voice in my head already asks "what would be so wrong if that happened?"

Well, I will still try to stick to the plain discription in the report and volunteer at the center for two days a week now. So even though you experience there all the time that whatever is done it's never enough I might at least lead my mind to the conclusion that I gave more than I took and that after this I may write a non-tendencious report without betraying someone with it.